In this day and age, it’s not uncommon to hear both sexes complain about not having a good man or woman to spend their time with. Mostly they say that there just are no more good men or women out there. I am happily married with a child on the way, but at one point in time I was a part of the dating pool. And like everyone out there, I had my share of ups and downs. The dating game can be draining but it is rewarding when you are focusing on the right things.
Nowadays you can’t talk about relationships without talking about sex. Our world seems to be taken over by it. You see it all over television and movies, so much so that we have become desensitized to it. And to go along with that, sex has become one of the most essential parts of building a relationship for some people. But where folks go wrong in relationships is entering sex in before you even know the person that you’re dealing with. The most important part of the relationship is actually the friendship. To truly build a strong relationship, you must be friends with the person that you are trying to build something with. A quick test that you can use to judge the intentions of a person is to put physical limits on what you will and will not do. Doing this will allow you all to focus on building the essentials of a relationship like communication. It will also allow you to be able to get to know each other more than you probably would should you involve sex in too early.
Another thing that has to happen is a self-examination. Many times, we are quick to pick apart the assets and deficits in someone we’re interested in. But what about yourself? Have you worked on yourself enough to say that you are suitable for someone? Often times people head into relationships thinking that their mate will complete them. The phrase “better half” comes to mind. But when you enter into any relationship, you have to know who you are first. If you know who you are, it can help you find who it is you are looking for without going through some of the trials and errors that leave people bitter and ready to throw in the towel.
But one of the biggest things that seems to have taken over the dating scene is the focus on material things. The feelings of love and companionship have been replaced with the love of money, clothes and appearance. More and more you see people entering relationships due to the things that the other person can do for them material-wise. Eventually, those material things can only fill a need for so long and then the real core of the relationship comes out. And in an instant, the relationship is over. But if there is love in that relationship and both are on the same page, the material things come as icing on the cake. Nice things are great for any relationship, but if there is no emotional attachment then the relationship is going to have a short lifespan.
I don’t profess to be an expert in relationships. In fact, I would say that I have made my share of mistakes. But in those mistakes, I learned a few things and was able to find a beautiful woman to spend the rest of my life with. Hopefully what I’ve learned can be a blessing to others who are looking for that special someone to spend the rest of their life with too.